Monday, May 25, 2009

Confessions of a Cursed IITian: Part II

(Before reading this, refer to Part I)
It was a sunny and pleasant day. The most crucial day of any IITRites life. It was the Bhawan Allotment Day. The day where all the losers are supposed to pickup other losers like them and form groups of 15, and apply to get into senior hostels, where u have to spend the rest of your life at IITR. I picked up the guys who seemed to be the least losers out of the whole lot. We gave the warden our Bhawan priority list, with the Bhawan closest to girl’s hostel, obviously, being on top. We all dressed nicely and assembled at the place where the draw was supposed to take place. We made the guy considered luckiest amongst us as our group representative. We were all about to die with curiosity when the warden came out with the results. The first group announced was ours. And the Bhawan allotted to us was the worst Bhawan in the campus. Not only was it the dirtiest, but it was also the farthest from the activity hub of the institute. Now, it all started rushing back to my mind. Everything, since the first day, that has happened to me was indicating towards only one thing – I am jinxed. Everything that I was a part of would fail. No matter how much I try, things would always go wrong that too in the worst possible way. Now, I was sure of the curse theory. But, now the curse was affecting not only me but my friends as well. It was I behind their state of misery. Though I never told them, but my conscience was eating me up. So, I decided to do everything possible and get us out of that creepy Bhawan. That was when I had my first tussle with the bureaucracy of IITR.
This is how the bureaucratic system works over at this place. There is a group of people who like to call themselves “The Faculty”. Now, this group consists of people who did absolutely nothing during their graduation. And they were screwed badly by their faculty. So, these people decided to take out their frustrations on the future generations. Somehow, they managed to get a doctorate and got into the teaching business without even knowing how to put 2 and 2 together. Besides, the teaching job, they also have another job - the job of making other’s life hell. Let me tell you, these guys are quite good at that job irrespective of their competence in the teaching job. They do it by not only teaching irrelevant stuff but also by failing the students for not studying that irrelevant stuff. So, if a student wants to pass, the only option left with him is to lick the respective prof’s scrotum sack after every class. And at the end of the semester the student who is found to be best at the job is awarded an A+ and the others get their grades according tot their relative expertness at the job. Now, “The Faculty” is being backed by a very powerful man, the Big D. Big D is actually a man chosen by The Faculty from amongst themselves and is bestowed with powers that even god doesn’t have. There’s only one major problem with this Big D character. That is, every sentence he says always starts with a B or M. Apparently, this guy was never taught the general manners of dealing with people. Now, Big D runs an entire organization consisting of other small Ds and Ps and Ws relating to different Administrative Departments and Bhawans. All these Subordinates of Big D acquire the habit of starting their sentences with a B or M. Their job is to make sure that students don’t get any type of comfort whatsoever during their stay at this place. Summarizing the entire thing, all our efforts of changing our Bhawan were in vain.
My “Bad Luck” did not just leave me there. As the administration was working in full force, we couldn’t get the rooms that were assigned to us in our new hostels as they were under construction. So, we were forced to put up at the fresher’s hostel. This was even worse. I knew all the way that all of this was because of me. I knew that all the other 15 guys had to go through all this because of me. But, I didn’t have the balls to tell any of them. As the time passed a lot of other events happened that left no doubt in my mind that I was cursed.
To be continued...

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