Confessions of a cursed IITian: Part III

(Before Reading this please refer to part I and part II)
Now, let’s jump over to the year 2008, when I am in my final year. And merrily preparing for the biggest war of them all- the placement season. All of us were so excited about it. We bought the best business suits available in the entire world. We arranged all the certificates for things we had done in the last 4 years and for things we hadn’t even heard of. For the sweet and lovely placement season, we did everything we could. It was something that all of us had dreamt of every night for the last four years. But, I didn’t know that my curse would follow me even here.
Now, that it was clear to my bad luck that it was not possible to keep from being happy after the placement process, it fabricated the biggest conspiracy of all times. Something that I could never have imagined. You see it was my bad luck that caused the entire fucked up state of global economy. Just because it did not want me to get a good job. People all over the world, all the economists, all the socialists, everyone is trying to come up with the exact reason that caused recession. But, how can those poor innocent guys know that its me. The entire game is not in their control now. It is not in anybody’s control. You see, the only way of stopping me from getting the biggest happiness in life was to ruin the entire job market in the world. And an easy way to ruin the job market was to ruin all the businesses existing in the world. So, my luck somehow got into contact with all the other lucks. And told them about this plan. And as it seems, all the other lucks followed. And as it seems the plan was successful. Unfortunately, my luck was not able to figure out the wide impact that this can have. As a result, the entire group of people graduating at any part of the world in 2009 had to suffer.
So, u see this is how my jinx made a global impact. There is no doubt that I m cursed. I mean look how Mukesh Ambani net worth dropped after he thought employing me. Just a thought of being associated with me led to this huge loss for him. Likewise, any person who tried to get into any sort of association with me during these four years had to suffer a lot (My project partner knows what I m talking about). Though I never wanted any of this to happen, I’ve always felt deeply responsible for everything. My guilty conscience had been eating me up till now. But, now I think its time to confess. So today, I, Rishabh Goel, student of Electrical Engineering Deptt. B.Tech program, IIT Roorkee, take the sole responsibility of causing RECESSION.
Though painful at times, my four years at this place have been a real memorable one. IITR is a world totally different from a normal world full of people in their sane mind. This world is totally insane. At this place, Jimi Hendrix and some arbit gaming clan are the gods. Darth Vader and some other arbit gaming clan are the satans. A place where for every pathetic and hopeless situation there exists a mother to be fucked at the very precise moment. A place which prepares the boys to exist happily even at those places where the male-to-female ratio might reach somewhere close to infinity.
And, here I am sitting in front of my computer screen (like always) totally boozed out, not being sure of what I m writing, preparing to leave this wonderful place tomorrow and enter the real world. It seems like I would be leaving a part of me behind. Going away from all the guys who taught you the real meaning of friendship. Going away from the life where we have absolutely no care of the worldly desires. Going away from a place where every person is special in his/her own way. Going away from a place where u get all the happiness of your life in one joke. Going away from a place which has taught you so much, ranging from anything to everything. To a place where everyone is concerned with themselves yet always doing things for others. To a place which teaches you nothing more than taking undue advantage of others. To a place where there are no friends, only associates. To a place where happiness seems a distant dream. I wish I wud never have to go. But, I guess that everyone is tempted to commit the original sin and eat the fruit that would take you away from the eden gardens.
PS: I thought of writing a whole book about all this. But, I figured three things-
1. The story was missing that all important female character, that is needed to make a book successful.
2. It would be better for me if Big D doesn’t get to read this.
3. People are anyways bored of reading the same shit again and again.
The End...